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Kevin Clay
Watch Me Fall
Alarma Records
Kevin Clay's producer seems to be getting almost as much attention from this release as the artist himself. That's not quite fair to Clay, who wrote all of the songs, sang and played guitar. It's his solo project, after all - and a very personal collection of songs, at that.
However, it is true that Watch Me Fall should appeal to just about any Mike Knott fan. Knott's hand shows here and there, and as writers, he and Clay display enough common traits to be labelled "kindred spirits."
The musical style, overall, is barrelhouse alternative rock 'n' roll, with all guitars and six-guns a'blazing. Rare gentler moments are augmented by Rick Rekedal's cello; the string arrangement on "Adam" is reminiscent of his work on "Adrian" from Knott's "Rocket and a Bomb" album.
Watch Me Fall is a long, hard, not especially pleasant look in the mirror for the former frontman of My Little Dog China. One could call this a concept album, but it's a lot more like reading someone's diary. At times, listening to the record feels like an invasion of privacy.
The album details a difficult period, beginning with the bitter collapse of Clay's marriage. In tracks like "Shot Down" and "Spacey Stacey," there are hints at the acrimony expressed by his former wife's family. We hear about the estrangement with a cherished child whom Clay helped raise.
"Date Rape" and "Coplandhagin" relate to problems between Clay and his church. The former concerns a youth whom Clay counseled, telling him it was okay for one to ask the deeper questions and investigate one's faith; that everything needn't be blindly taken at face value. It also addresses Clay's feelings of rejection and abuse at being silenced and dismissed by church elders for offering such assurance. The latter song expresses a sincere need for the church to examine both itself and its motives.
Building from a laid-back acoustic guitar, "Don't Tell Jude" offers a glint of sunshine in the personal arena, though it turns bittersweet: "... sometimes I get a feeling that somehow it's from above. But who am I to be in love?"
"Seed" follows, with more introspection. It's as if Clay is acknowledging the truth, but admitting a lack of identifiable impact in his life. "Who in my religion needs communion? I do."
Watch Me Fall continues, detailing an effort to pull everything back together after it has all fallen apart. Through the tribulation, there is a struggle to maintain hope. With determination, Clay sings on "Squeaky Clean," "By the time I'll be seen again, I'll be squeaky clean again."
The story cycle doesn't quite reach closure; there's no sugar-coated happy ending. What we do get, however, is a picture of Clay, eyes wide open, smarting from the sting, but not hopeless. Despite disenfranchisement within personal relationships and with the church, the album closes with the reverent "Come to Thee." The song is an appeal for unity and surrender to God, recognizing that He is bigger than any petty divisions among His people.
- Jeff Elbel
p.s. Watch Me Fall was released with a track order which is different than Clay's original program. To follow the story in its intended sequence, set your CD player to this order: 3, 10, 7, 9, 6, 4, 8, 5, 1, 2, 11, 13, 12, 14. It makes quite a difference to the narrative.